An Aussie Rules RANT

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JANUARY 24, 2007

I know, I know, Kevin talking tennis, what is this all about?? Well due to my odd work schedule, which then leads to my even stranger sleeping patterns, I have been watching quite a bit of this years Australian Open. Here are some thoughts based on what I have seen.

* Men’s tennis is terrible!!!!! Yeah it is nice for the Americans watching to have Andy Roddick do well and Mardy Fish surprise a few people before deciding not to show up against Roddick, but come on people!!!! Watching a full men’s tennis tournament is like watching a horror move, you know the bad guy is going to kill some people it is just a matter of where, when and how. Men’s tennis is the same way. Everyone already knows Roger Federer is going to win the tournament, it is just a matter of who he beats, when he beats them, and how badly or impressively he does it. My suggestion to fix this is change the format of these tournaments. Instead of playing a full tournament going through the brackets, once you get to the quarterfinals, everyone remaining gets a shot at Federer. The only catch is that he would have to beat everyone in the same time frame it would take to finish the tournament. By doing this all the fans get to see more of him and it gives every other player on tour a realistic chance of beating the guy. I mean, now if you are lucky enough to be the third guy to face him in a 24-hour span, you may have a shot.

* Women’s tennis is the complete opposite. With the return of Martina Hingis and Serena Williams going into any given tournament there are about 8-12 women that have a chance to win it. Granted, it will still, most likely be one of the big guns, but not all the time. After watching Serena two nights ago and Hingis last night, it is amazing that these women both took a lot of time off, yet are back at this level so quickly. Martina is actually playing a different style now too!! She is playing a much more controlled and mature style, she isn’t playing real aggressive, she is sitting back and waiting for her opponents to make mistakes and once they do she jumps all over them.

* Speaking about women’s tennis, WOW!!!! Now everyone knows Anna Kournikova, you know the newest member on the CW’s Beauty and the Geek (the CW is in the CBS family, I gotta give a little support, you know). She has done more with nothing than just about anyone on the sporting world. Herb Brooks and the Miracle on Ice team is a distant 2nd. The only difference is they won with nothing; she doesn’t win and still gets everything!! Okay, I’m getting off track. We all have seen Maria Sharapova, she is beautiful AND talented (imagine that…). But it looks don’t stop there!!!! It seems the Russians just breed hot tennis players, not always talented, but ALWAYS hot!! While watching Serena two nights ago my dad asks, “who is she playing, another Russian?” The screen quickly cut to a close up of Serena’s opponent Shahar Peer, and I quickly responded, “I’m not sure where she is from, but she must not be Russian.” Shahar is from Israel and looks more like Hootch from the classic Tom Hanks movie Turner and Hootch than anything human that I can think about. Okay, again getting off track. Yeah the Russians have cornered the market on hot Russians, but I have a new favorite. She is not Russian, she is not “hot” I’m going to go with “cute”, and she is not even new, but I’m going to say that I am fan of the new and improved Martina Hingis. She no longer whines and complains, and she has an extremely cute look to her. She may have always had that look to her, but I hated her as a player so I never really paid much attention to her. Should have I guess!!!

Okay, that is all on this Rant. As I prepare myself for the Roddick / Federer semi, I was wondering, will Roddick win more sets than Anna won titles in her career (zero)?? I’m thinking, NO!