The Pitt - Syracuse Debacle (text by text)

The University of Pittsburgh football team traveled north this weekend to play Syracuse University in what was supposed to be a football game. I didn’t see it!

I mean I saw the game, but I just didn’t see much football being played, at least GOOD football.

Here is my text log during the game (WARNING, the use of profane language is strong, especially in the 1st half!) as well as my untexted thoughts.

The game started off fairly well. Pitt received the opening kickoff and moved the ball efficiently until Pitt got inside the 30. Inside the 20 is considered the RED ZONE by most in football, however the 10 yards prior to the 20 should be considered the BLACK HOLE for Panther fans. It is where every promising drive fades away to nothing. And that is exactly what happened here. 3rd and 6 from the 24, let’s throw for 1 yard to get our kicker a little closer, nice play calling Cavanaugh! PITT leads 3-0
Then it happens. Michael Holmes (a guy that if you search college football players at ESPN.com doesn’t even exist) suddenly looks like Rocket Ismail and goes 90 yards untouched on the kick return. CUSE 7-3
Pitt goes 3 and out, Syracuse marches right down field, scores on a 27-yard pass, capping off an 8 play, 55-yard drive. Cuse 14-3.

LET THE TEXTING BEGIN: (it may be difficult to follow along, but following Pitt is difficult too. The first three people that I texted were my overly loyal Pitt fan and partner in any Pitt road trip taken Jeremiah, my eternally pessimist Pitt fan cousin Pete, and another cousin Penn State Steve, clearly not a huge Pitt fan, but a big football fan.)

12:31
ME: I quit! This team f#cking sucks!
12:32
JER: Thanks Pete
12:33
ME: I’m serious, are u watching this?
Penn State Steve: I take it Pitt is losing?

Steve was on his way to Happy Valley to watch a real football team play, not watching the game.

12:34
JER: I started drinking it helps.
12:35
Ross: Ughh!

My buddy Ross feels for me when Pitt struggles. He is a Penn State grad, but a lifelong Pitt fan.

ME: 14-3…kick return for TD, then Pitt went 3 and out and they drove right down field for an easy score…it is painful to watch.
12:36
JER: Trust me it helps watching this team.
ME: Maybe I’ll do that!
PSS: Ouch! Come over to the dark side Luke!
12:37
ME: I’m thinking if I get in my car now, I can make it by kickoff no problem.

Steve had offered me a ticket to the Penn State game earlier in the week but due to my hectic week I turned it down, I was now reconsidering!

12:39
PSS: We are in Harrisburg and should be there by 2:30. Come on up!
12:50
JER: Stull has the arm power of a drunk at the carnival dunking booth.
ME: If that… I hate Cavanaugh!

This after time and time again Bill Stull throws behind his open receivers.

1:20
Gulish: Not looking good for your team.

Gulish is a college buddy of mine who loves Penn State and loves to take jabs at me about Pitt any time they struggle (basically the entire fall season).

1:22
ME: I’m like a battered spouse, no matter how bad it gets, I keep coming back for more…Watching this team has forced me to start drinking already today.


HALFTIME SCORE: Syracuse (maybe the worst team in 1A) 17, Pitt 13

1:24
ME: Has a coach ever been fired during halftime?
1:25
JER: They both should be.
1:27
ME: Cal-IUP is on Fox Sports, both these teams would give Pitt a game.

I was dead serious!

1:30
ME: Maybe they pull a Varsity Blues and the players overthrow Wanny and Cav during halftime.
1:32
JER: Wasn’t that against a good team?
1:34
ME: Yes, but the players still ended up as better coaches, could u see Cav calling a hook-n-ladder with the game on the line?
1:35
JER: Sadly, yes I could.
ME: Good point.
1:38
ME: If Pitt loses I probably won’t be out tonight, just an FYI.

Sent to the few different people that I had made plans on going out with Saturday night.

1:57
ME: Is it bad to hope your team loses and gets embarrassed so that they fire the entire coaching staff?
1:58
JER: No, not at all.
1:59
ME: Ok, good! By the way, the drinking thing isn’t helping much this is still painful!
2:00
JER: Try Drugs.
2:12
JER: I still have a feeling that the Q’s are going to implode.
2:26
JER: Go for 2!!

This is when you know it is bad, a point when the team clearly has to go for a 2-point conversion, yet we feel so insecure about who we have calling the plays that we feel we need to let it be known what the correct call is!

At 2:14 I let Jeremiah know that I was using these texts for my blog. He then tries to get funny; it didn’t work well for him!

2:27
ME: This is painful…We are clearly 20 points better then this team, f*cking conservative coaching is killing them, I hate Cavanaugh!!

2:29
JER: Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, but it is a great way to go through Saturdays.

Cedric McGee makes an attempt to catch a terribly underthrown ball from Bill Stull, luckily he happened to bump into Nico Scott who had absolutely no idea where the ball was. Pass Interference.

2:39
JER: That play had all the finesse of 2 morbidly fat people f*cking.
2:40
ME: Yeah, good thing they called pass interference, no chance he would have actually caught that pass.

After one of the dumbest timeout calls by Syracuse. Pitt actually looked confused and Syracuse must have just wanted to help them out.

2:42
JER: WTF? Good time out? He should be fired for that! If I were a Q’s fan I would kill myself.

How bad must it be to be a Syracuse fan, if Pitt fans have pity on you?

2:45
ME: So do you even want to waste time watching them at JR’s Thursday?
JER: Yes, I have 2 chips.
2:47
ME: Good point I have some too.

Pitt takes the lead 27-24, and 4 plays later, Syracuse QB gets sacked and fumbles.

2:49
ME: Well called on the Q’s collapse.
JER: Told ya!
2:52
JER: I love hearing the house announcements during the commercials.
2:54
ME: I know, I love it…it is the full “in game” experience, the Big East Network doesn’t f*ck around!

For whatever reason the field mic’d audio was up during all of the commercial breaks. You could hear the Syracuse PA announcer over top of the dumbest Golf Digest commercial ever created. That, plus the terrible picture and not making the game available in HD made the experience that much more enjoyable. Great job by those guys running the Big East Network!

3:05
ME: It is finally over, thank god!
3;06
Pete: Score?

Pete missed the game (lucky him) flying to San Diego.

3:07
ME: 34-24 winners, ugly!
3:25
PSS: With that comeback, the staff deserves an extension.
3:26
ME: I’d prefer a pink slip or 2!
3:27
ME: They absolutely dominated the game, but kept making stupid mistakes over and over again to keep Syracuse in it…so frustrating! I hate Cavanaugh!!

Well there you have it, the less painful reenactment of the Pitt – Syracuse football game, if you want to call it that.